The Definitive Guide to Happiness

I have no fucking idea, buddy. But let’s have a go at it, shall we?

1. Eat fried things.
2. Move your body enough to work off the fried things
3. Read books and write in the margins (don’t write in the margins if you read 50 Shades of Grey, because weirdo)
4. Be content with who you are
5. Be inspired by the person you could be
6. Don’t waste your life on addictive substances
7. Play old video games to understand the cannon of gamerdom
   1. N.E.S. Mario
   2. Mario 2, because it’s weird
   3. Mario 3 because flutes and Wizard is still a bad ass movie
8. Switch to P.C. games shortly thereafter—ask Dad for a gaming computer and he’ll oblige.
9. Observe your impact on the lives you touch to remember how big you are
10. Look at the stars to remember how small you are
11. Don’t settle for music; listen to musicians
12. Remember you’re only one character in the book
13. Invest your time on things that matter, that develop your narrative, your story
14. Have a hobby that makes you sweat
15. Face, hair, armpits, asshole, and junk—wash it where it counts
16. Be a kid as long as you can
17. Credit cards are for suckers, and dads that want big computer monitors
18. Be thoughtful
19. Find someone you can share your thoughts with, all of them
20. Find the joy in the things you do every day
21. Make shitty lists

It’s a good place to start.