Very Hard Times

I am going to be obscure, because I have to be. Maybe one day I will be able to tell you all the things. All the things that have lead up to this moment that has me writing in cryptic messages.

Misery Loves Blog Posts

The truth, or as much as I can say it at the time, is that I am pretty fucking miserable right now. In fact, this may be the most miserable I feel when writing to you, which is why I have put it off so long. You see, we all go through very hard times. I am going through a hard time right now, but I am doing my best to be the best father to you I can. You are, after all, what I have left—things get lost in the fire, and sometimes it’s devastating.

So I am standing on the rubble from the fire now, kiddo. It smell of ash and smoldering embers. But I know I’ll rebuild and I will be stronger and better for it one day. I will have the scars to show for it, but I will have emerged. We will have emerged, and we will be strong, the two of us, together. I hope one day you will be able to see these times as I have, but with rose-colored glasses. One day you will see how far we’ve come together and you will appreciate the life I’ve worked so hard to create for us both. A life of fun, carefree and youthful. A life that embraces your individuality and strengths to allow to you achieve great things. But it’s a hard battle fought, kiddo.

You Are The Glue

I don’t want you to read this one day and think I have made sacrifices for you, because that’s not the case. You are, unknowingly, the glue that is holding my pieces together. You are everything I need to be complete. As long as I have you and we’re good, then my life is full. The rest doesn’t matter. Not to us. You and I are a team, and we take care of each other. That’s what teams do. You’re doing your part and you don’t even realize it, so I do my part as well.

Just know, that I am doing my best. I am struggling, Holden. Never with you, but with everything else. Life is hard sometimes, but it won’t always be hard. I am trying to keep that in mind.

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