Somewhere around 1993ish, I remember lying in bed at night thinking about how I was destined to never find my true love. In truth, my true love for that fleeting moment in time—as true love’s happen to be really—had already been found; she just didn’t really like me that much. My 9-year old heart was broken. The first of many, as it seems. Heartache, as I learned in 1993, is a mother fucker, kiddo.
You’ll get it bad one day, friend. Your insides will liquefy and your head will replay moments, over and over again. You will feel like your heart has been impaled by a large pulsating cock (really large and really, violently pulsating; which is to say, not great unless you like that stuff, then I won’t judge) It sucks. I’ve been there. And I’ve lived through it. I’m better for it, Aaron v3.61.
Heart Ache is Heart-Achey
I have been in love (counting, please hold) approximately 9 times. I once read an article that men fall in love, on average, 5 times in their life. I fucked up, bro. With every one of these loves, save one (current, I’ll let you know) has caused pain. In most cases the my-dick-just-got-ripped-outta-my-asshole kind of pain (unless you like that stuff, then I won’t judge). But now, at 32, I wouldn’t change any of it. The person I am today, your dad, has been smoothed down by tumbling along with the current. I’m not quite polished, but I’m a little less rough.
Your heart is going to break, from love, from death, from friendships, from someone AFKing on your team during a critical 5v5—they come in all shapes and sizes, kid. But you’ll get to the other side. You’ll make it, and you’ll be better for it. I know that now, and it’s taken a lot of tumbling to get there. It’s just a part of life, you know? Just taking the things as they come along and making them fit somewhere.
Gettin’ Yo’ Back
You won’t always feel like there is someone that has your back during the worst of it. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re the only person living that has
experienced your unique grief and pain. That’s partly true, you are unique and your troubles are your own. But, many of your experiences have happened to others before. The survivors of this grief and heartache and agony will help to console you. Or, at the very least, get your really drunk pouring tequila and margarita mix into your mouth and then sucker punching you in the dick. It takes your mind off things, but the dick punching is missable. Don’t be afraid to lean on people to help you through things, despite how silly or trivial or big or significant they might be. Just ask someone.
If someone tells you to “be a man” or to “man up” or to “not be a bitch” then they aren’t the type of person you should surround yourself with. Be with good people.
You have one chance to soak up everything kiddo. Don’t be afraid of some pain. Live.
Every little thing is gonna be alright. It’s going to be great.