First off, burned vs. burnt. From what I have learned they’re used interchangeably. However, in North America, “burnt” is used more commonly as an adjective, where they can both be used as verbs. I am talking about the finality of the situation of these pitiful bridges, their eternal status of being consumed, therefore I’ve chosen burnt. For arguments sake, if I was to title the post “What to do When the Bridges are Burned,” one could assume there may be hope yet for our dear friends, the bridges. There is not. They are, and will always be, burnt.
There’s a finality, which I’ve already imparted, to the title. And of course, the allegory of bridges points toward personal and business relationships I have maintained throughout my life, and those which you will experience in yours, almost all of which are subject to change without further notice; we’re often reminded of this as well, but mainly in writing, with the most impersonal touch.
Business or Pleasure?
Holy shit I want a waffle. LOOK AT IT!
Business and personal relationships are only different in one way, when it really comes down to it: with business you should give a two-weeks notice. The “personal industry,” holds much more emotional implications, and comes detached from prior notice. You’ll be blindsided and hurt and sometimes you’ll have a blank space to entertain your mind for a considerable amount of time. The severity is arbitrary, which is the real kick in the ass.
We wake up every morning faced with decisions. It starts with whether or not to press the snooze button. (since you’ve been born I’ve used an alarm infrequently because you wake up early enough for both of us, friend) Throughout the day we’re barraged with a gamut of decisions that can whittle us down, if you allow them to. They’re mostly tiny decisions, but occasionally they’ll be the bigguns. Professional bridges (imagine them in a tie, or in my case, not wearing only underwear as I normally live my whole life) are normally burned—the act of burning, not the finality of—during this time. We make our daily decisions and those decisions should be calculated, even cold. We have to move forward, grow, learn, be better.
How to Destroy Personal Relationships Effectively
Personally, there are a few ways to indistinguishably destroy your bridges. I’ve done both and have become an expert. Sometimes you can destroy something quickly, you make a big mistake that can cause irreversible harm to someone, or you can just let the embers spread and eventually they’ll do the trick. The former is accountable only to your best judgement. You’re going to fuck up a lot, and those closest to you will realize that you’re much like they are, fuck-ups that occasionally make good decisions. These are the good ones. The slow-burners are harder to see, because you’re too busy dousing fires that you let some fall through the cracks. Maybe it shouldn’t have ever happened to begin with, but you can’t save everyone.
There are a few things that will ultimately lead to the destruction of your personal relationships:
- Getting a girlfriend: without question you won’t be as cool as you once were when you were single and DTHO (down to hang out) pretty much all the time
- Getting married: see above^2 (done it)
- Starting a real job: I used to sleep in until 2pm; it was awesome
- Getting old: holy shit my hangovers are real life
- Yardwork: the little things you cannot account for will bite you in the ass
- Netflix: I mean, there’s so much good shit
As you grow older, you’ll notice that friends come in and out of your life. It’s normal to go through these transitions. People get close then Netflix gets in the way. Sometimes you’ll find out you’re much better without them, and other times you’ll realize that you never put forth the effort required to maintain your personal relationships. Your friends have grown up and moved on. It’s okay because that’s what you’re supposed to do too, you know? But in moments when you’re feeling somewhat miserable about your life, you’ll think on those things. Not to say that’s what I am doing right now, but maybe.
Ayn Rand Doesn’t Know Shit
CHOO CHOO Motherfucker. Business is coming, have your tickets ready
Work is work though. You have to chase the paycheck, the position, the title. It’s all about getting the B.B.D.. No one should fault you on making decisions that will better yourself, and if they do, you should tell them to kiss your ass anyway. Your life, your livelihood is your first responsibility. You cannot be a worthwhile father or husband without working hard to ensure you can provide. People will count on you, like the little people (see: Holden). I bust my ass and I make professional decisions to make sure you live a great life. I also want to buy a new CPU heatsink for my computer.
There’s a balance that I have yet to figure out: where to spend the right amount of time and effort to make everything work seamlessly. I should discover the algorithm and sell it to Google, but until then, I’ll just continue as I have before and let the tortilla chips fall into the queso where they may (which is the true saying without the whole brevity thing)
Be good, work hard, take care of your people and you’ll pick up some good ones along the way. Just find your balance. Also, quit eating your damn boogers.