Yourself.exe v3.61

When I was 4-5ish, I used to stick my fingers into power sockets. I don’t remember it being deliberate, at least not every time. I remember my little finger used to be able to fit inside the holes just perfectly. I’m not quite sure how. Suffice to say, I have been electrocuted a few times in my life, none of which have been enjoyable. You feel like your entire body has frozen and you can’t move or think or fix your situation. You’re just stuck, being electrocuted like a dumbass because your little finger fits perfectly into the socket.

I would say I learned my lesson fairly quickly, but as I stated originally, in the plural form, it took multiple times before I decided not to do that anymore. I also remember trying again, and my finger didn’t fit in the hole. The experiences that you miss out on as you grow older, and larger, are suitable for an excel spreadsheet—ctrl-f: “electrocution” = #89-93.

So by the time my digits were larger and my brain was, as one would assume, larger, I became a new version of myself. I was the Aaron Metzger that no longer electrocuted himself by accident, curiosity, or stupidity. This version was more suited to live outside in the real world: somewhere around version 1.0031 or so. The electrocution bug had been fixed, thankfully. I was well on my way to being a successful adult. Some of the life experiences you overcome and learn from are significant upgrades to your software, and some are small tweaks. Since this was literally life and death it should be considered a large upgrade, but it was just a glitch that needed a quick-patch. You’re still very much in Beta testing.

I’ve come a long way, kiddo. There have been many obstacles to overcome, some of them large and cumbersome, some of them minor issues. But now I have reached my current version, whatever that may be, until something else comes along which will need some work. The point is nothing that happens in your life will ever lead to a blue-screen, a critical error. You will learn and grow from every difficult experience you are faced with. You will learn and grow with every wonderful experience you are faced with. You are constantly adapting, evolving.

There will come a time when you may not believe that to be true. Somethings will challenge you in a way you will never be prepared for, but you must know that you will be able to overcome them, learn from them, and have the experiences to help others through the same situations, as others will help you through yours. By the time you read this, if you haven’t already classified me as “what do you know, Dad?” then feel free to ask me. I’ve got a lot of really great stories to share with you. Some you will laugh at and think about how foolish I was with my little fingers, for example, and others that may help you gain some perspective. You may be able to see me in a different way than I saw my parents, as parents.

Granted, you will have to listen to what I say, so we can’t just be bros and I can’t let shit slide all the time. But maybe I will get where you’re coming from better than you think, because I pretty much have a story for everything, an experience where I’ve gained some insight already. Just ask me for help, talk to me. The whole reason I am in your life is to help guide you and build your character and help you discover and explore and experience.

I have also placed socket protectors on all the power outlets.