You ate shit on the playground today at school. It wasn’t really my fault, but I distracted you. You’ve got the foot-skills, but your lack-luster mastery of multitasking is apparent. There’s some irony with your face being broken open on a fire hydrant, designed exclusively to protect people, that isn’t lost…
*New and improved with more butts. At some point in our conversations I was going to have to become Dad. Believe me when I say this is really weird for me, because I want you to just “be.” There is a balance between the alcohol and the sex and the…
I have no idea why the post has this picture. But you love saying “cheeseburger” all the time. You never eat the damn things, but you say it all the time. This is a big one, kiddo. You won’t know how big tomorrow is going to be, because you’re young…
I was thinking the other day that life is going to be pretty shitty for you starting around middle school. Fortunately for myself and my generation, we were able to go through the hardships of adolescents and puberty and leave little to no trace of it ever happening. Besides hair…
When I was 4-5ish, I used to stick my fingers into power sockets. I don’t remember it being deliberate, at least not every time. I remember my little finger used to be able to fit inside the holes just perfectly. I’m not quite sure how. Suffice to say, I have…
Life is quite the roller coaster, kiddo. One day we are certain our little corner of the world is coming to an end, engulfed in flames. The next day you realize you had this big ass bag of extra-large mashmallows ready to be roasted. I realize that I am fairly…
Sometimes I wonder what all of this is for, the writing. I wonder if it’s a way to work out some of my own issues, to encapsulate them. Is all of this meandering about you and I, or is it just completely about myself? When did it come to be…
You’re sick, little fella. You have been for a couple weeks. You take it pretty well, considering how terrible us adults handle sickness. You may get a little grumpy, but you make the best of things. It’s inspiring, really. You don’t think about the future and whether or not you’re…
I am going to be obscure, because I have to be. Maybe one day I will be able to tell you all the things. All the things that have lead up to this moment that has me writing in cryptic messages. Misery Loves Blog Posts The truth, or as much…
I am getting to an age when there are pressures to be a “real thing.” The American Dream of a white picket fence and a guy that wears a fedora and comes home to wife wearing a dress and heels offering up a feast that took hours to prepare, no…
