Stop Eating Other Kid’s Boogers

You’ve been sick for the last two months. You just began school and it’s been a difficult transition for you. You’re having a blast and learning so many new things, but you just keep eating other kids boogers.

You recently discovered the joys of picking your nose, partly because it’s always running, and you may be looking for a way to keep the mucus off your lip. It bothers your mother, but I’m sort of proud. You’re learning fine motor skills with those chubby digits.

But you have got to stop sharing the goods, homie. You’re sick. Your classmates are sick. The teachers are sick. Your parents are sick. My co-workers are sick. And it’s partly because you’re gratuitously sharing your boogers, and accepting some in exchange.

We’ve spent the last few nights camped out on the sofa together. You haven’t been sleeping well because you have another ear infection (this makes 4 in a couple months now). It sucks when you wake up in the middle of the night because I never get much sleep, but by the time the morning comes and you’re sprawled out, having made claim to a disproportionate amount of sofa surface-area, you’re really cute, snorting and sneezing. I won’t get to do this much longer, and I need to keep reminding myself that this is only temporary.

So far you’ve been sleeping well tonight, but your witching hour appears to be right around 2:00am. So we’ll see if you want to hang out and watch Fantasia until 4:00am again this morning. On a side note, I had never seen it before, so we both experienced something new. Thanks for that.

Now for the love of shit, just stay asleep for another 6 hours.