The Best of Hands

I haven’t spent enough time on reflection lately, kiddo. For that, I am sorry. However, there is a reason for it, and happiness dulls the senses and calms the nerves. We have, all of us, been so very happy—actually, and not gun-to-my-head.

You’ve been sick this last week, and it’s made me think of sickness. There has been so much lately, in such a short span of time, especially with Brent, you grandmother’s husband. On top of that, we started a new routine with you. We’re trying to expand the time we have together and minimize fluctuations. We think it’s going to be better, but we really have no fucking clue, because no one knows how to parent except grandparents—your own recollection of the past is also a bitter example of how you’re failing to provide a blissful childhood experience for your progeny. You do not feel the same, and you will feel the same in a few decades, no doubt. We’re our own worst enemies.

So your sickness; we got you a flu shot, but the emergency room doctor we saw today told us that this year’s efficacy is a paltry 48%: More people got the flu if they got the flu shot. You were the the unwilling and unwitting ambassador of influenza. I’m sorry you’re so sick and we really are doing everything we can to make you better. Unfortunately ‘time’ is the commodity required but the one less likely given willingly. It has been hard, however. We’re still working on family dynamics, and I feel it will always be a work in progress.

Despite being on the verge of utter defeat, you have shown so much poise and graciousness. One would think you had a good upbringing. When you don’t want something you say “no thank you.” When you do you say “thank you.” That’s nice, and honestly, totally unrealistic in today’s society. Old people love hearing you say it, because it gives them hope about the new generation, when really we’re totally happy with you saying “yup” just as often. There’s a time and place for everything, and I guess that’s the whole point of this exercise.

It’s been a while since I wrote something here, and it’s not for lack of consideration. It is due to a lack of time. It will always be important to chat with you, as long as you feel the need to come and read it.



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