I have reached a point where I have become fully realized. I have no more tricks up my sleeve, kiddo. I am the guy I am.
I am, however, becoming a slightly enhanced version of Aaron Metzger on a daily basis. I eat less or more. I work out harder or less hard. I drink more or less. I learn more or less. I try harder or less hard. All of thees depend on the circumstance. I am a product of my circumstance; I create my circumstances. You see the dilemma here.
Years ago I dubbed the circumstance of being comfortable and happy as “comfortably discontent.” If you have the rare and unfortunate ability to read back through my writing journals you’ll hear all about it. Now I get a little more perspective. It’s not about complacency, it’s about continuing to challenge yourself.
You have become happy and your watch football on sundays and you drink beer and you eat burgers and you’re a little overweight and you have slightly high blood pressure and you nap a lot and you think about when it wasn’t like this. Fucking do something about it, buddy.
Change. Your. Life. Period.
I am not a bastion of great health and great decisions. I am just me. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on the current state of our relationship) you see me as a singularly, non-dynamic sorta-dude. Maybe I am bat-shit crazy and too dynamic. Sorry. Can’t know that right now. In any case, I am telling you now that I (me. dad.) don’t matter. You are the future and you make up your own goddamn mind. So think, buddy.
I am in the middle of my life, suffering through Middle Management (OH SHIT HE USED THE TITLE IN THE BLOG POST). I am carving out a piece of life for myself. I am choosing happiness over work, and it’s good as shit, son. I am walking you to school and volunteering in school activities and donating and being involved. I do all that because I love the shit out of you and I want you to be proud of me. Of all things in my life, I want you to be proud of me.
My dad was a fire chief. He had the helmet and the uniform and the respect. He has a road named after him. I am just me, and I hope that’s enough. It’s not the same to say “my dad pushed buttons on his keyboard and makes other businesses a lot of money.”
I have curated my life, kiddo. I have molded it to be something that works for me, for you, and for Jacqueline. I want more time so I can be more available. It’s working so far, but who knows. I am just at the beginning, in the middle management stage of my career.
I promise you, though, my family comes first. You come first.