The Packing List For Forever

Alright so your mom is with my best friend. It’s old news now, and it’s totally fine. I’m great, your mom is great, and you are great. Let’s take some time to talk about it, and air out what needs to be said.

What the fuck is with these candles?

What the fuck is with these candles?

It Wasn’t; Now It Is.

There was a time when it wasn’t okay with me. I was a wreck, and there were a lot of reasons why. More reasons than matter now. I felt alone and cast aside. I felt betrayed. I felt like I was completely overlooked. The truth is, kiddo, that those feelings have passed and everyone is okay. The reason I am writing this is to announce to the world that it’s time that we focus on the future. A future full of birthday parties and picnics and cookouts and board games and zoos. Also, if I had the ability to see ahead, I would’ve only seen the good things like this. So I owe your mother an apology: I’m sorry for being so self interested and not seeing the bigger picture sooner; everything will be great.

I posted on Reddit about the situation when it was fresh and I was exposed nerves. One person told me I was a bitch, which wasn’t that helpful, but another person said her ex and her sister were together and have been for 10 years, and it was great. I wasn’t ready for it at the time, but I know that’s what I needed to hear in the long run. The truth is, it’s great. I figured it would be, I just had to get passed the part where it sucked.

Four Score and 5 Months Ago…

So this blog is a proclamation that as of today (really a few months ago) we move forward as a collective group of Old People That Are Connected To Holden to the rest of our lives. I’ve made a short packing list, so we’re all prepared, and your mother can add items (then subsequently forget them because she forgot to write them on the fucking marker board that she bought to put on the wall to remind her of things she was supposed to remember—I’m lookin’ at you.)

  • Respect – It’s not hard, really. We’re all the protagonists in our stories, but we can take some time to remember others
  • Love – We all experience love in different ways, but in a tight-knit Holden-lovin’ group we can have a vested interest in each other and be totally cool with that
  • Patience – Schedules and calendars and time and conflicts, these are normal in this situation; let’s roll with it and be accommodating (every time I write accommodating I think of A Commode, which is shitty………heh)
  • Understanding  – We’re all doing life stuff, and sometimes our paths will cross in a negative way, get the fuck over it and realize that we’ve got to work together as a group
  • Forgiveness – If someone asks for forgiveness you have to actually strongly consider giving it to them, and don’t have any bullshit excuses; be a good person
  • Fun –  Do you realize the actual amount of fun things we get to do with our lives when there is a kid involved? Disney, Lego Land, The Birds and the Bees Conversation, awkward boners, underage drinking, oh my god so many video games, cities and countries and beaches and skis, and cartoons

Let’s Be a Big Team

So to those that have negative sentiments about where your mother and father ended up in life, it’s time to move on. Let’s be big. Let’s make life big. And let’s tackle the next great challenge:

This cake will look less fancy when it's poop.

This cake will look less fancy when it’s poop.

raising you to be a healthy, intelligent, and caring person. I wish the best to your mom and booboo, and everyone else should too.


  1. Wherein I give a standing ovation! We have always said we are on hour side and we have always been ready to forgive at the pace you needed us and that is your pace. You two created an amazing little person. He will be the best, brightest, and most eternal of both your life work and hers. I’ll always be humbled that you trusted me with this story when you did and can say I lived up to those promises – and my role as Aunt Ali was kind of ratified with your trust. You and Rachael and both of your significant others can do this. You have the maturity to give Holden your best, like you have from day 1. Love you guys.

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